The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes, Pt 3

Isn't this serene? It has absolutely nothing to do with this post. But it is quite serene. You know, if you say serene enough times, it doesn't sound like a word anymore. Try it!

Hey all! This is part three of my behind the scenes engagement story. If you’re just joining, check out our previous posts to get the whole story!

Otherwise, let's keep going. At this point, I had purchased the ring and gotten the stone set into it. The next step was to plan the actual proposal. Figuring out how I was going to propose to Beverly was no easy task. The thing about proposals is you only get to do them once ever in your entire existence as a human (if you’re handling things properly anyway). So, in my mind, I had to figure out something that would be affordable, manageable, but also specially tailored to reflect Beverly and create a memory that she would cherish. What I ended up actually doing, however, will not sound like it was affordable, manageable, or even possible. But that is the kind of thing you can do when you give your story over to God. More on that later.

The thing that I wanted to keep in mind is that, not only do I myself only get to propose one time ever (if things go well), but Beverly is only going to receive a proposal one time ever (if things go well). So I’m not knocking anyone else’s proposal story, but I didn’t want to propose to her in her living room or randomly at a mall somewhere.

“What I ended up actually doing will not sound like it was affordable, manageable, or even possible. But that is the kind of thing you can do when you give your story over to God.”

Of course I was praying for some good ideas, and of course I also had some “good ideas” of my own.

The aforementioned old brain. You can't see it, but ideas are tumbling around in there.

The first idea that I had tumbling around in the old brain was to find a local, small live music event at which some as-yet-undecided-upon musician friend of mine would be playing. I would work out an agreement with them where they would let me come up and perform one of the songs I had written for Bev, and then I would end the song on my knee proposing (I know, insert “awwww” here).

I knew I might not be able to do that, so my second “great idea” was epic. Three words. Hot. Air. Balloon. Boom! Who wouldn’t say yes to a marriage proposal whilst being suspended by a thin cloth thousands of feet in the air? Foolproof, right?

But then I considered this: if I am going to ask her to change the rest of her life for me, then my proposal should symbolize what I hope the rest of her life will look like.  That means that I wanted the proposal to do three things:

1. Show her how much I have studied and learned her

2. Be reflective of our story together

3. Demonstrate the amount of effort I plan to put in for her every day forever

1. Show her how much I have studied and learned her

That’s when I remembered she once said to me that in a perfect world, she would visit the zoo in every city she went to. My response to her when she said that was, “So let’s make it a perfect world.”  Therefore, I decided that I should take her to her perfect world and ask her if she would make it a perfect world with me for the rest of her life.

“If I am going to ask her to change the rest of her life for me, then my proposal should symbolize what I hope the rest of her life will look like.”

I don’t know if you have been able to figure me out yet, but I don’t think it will come as a surprise to you that I couldn’t just take her to any old zoo on any old day and propose to her in any old spot. I had to find either a zoo that was having a special, more intimate event where I could propose to her or one that would be willing to help me set up a special event. So I started calling local zoos and looking up events on their websites.

I quickly discovered that the biggest nearby zoos were unable to help me do anything special, and the events they were having that might have worked were all booked up for a few months. However, Bev will tell you  that I am really good at finding places. She almost always asks me how in the world I found wherever it is that I am taking her. So I didn’t let this local trouble stop me. I simply expanded my search area. I think I looked at almost every real zoo between here and Ohio. No joke.

To further complicate things, I (or more likely the Holy Spirit in me--remember I asked for His help) often find a way to take my little ideas and turn them into something bigger and just outside my comfort level (or way outside my comfort level). Have you ever noticed that when you give an idea over to God, He tends to expand it into something that takes a lot more faith than you originally planned on needing?

Let me explain what I mean. As I was calling these different zoos to see what I could set up, I started to realize that I have no clue what things I could do at the zoo to make a proposal special, and neither did the people that work for the zoos because it’s not a common event to propose at a zoo. It’s not like there were a bunch of examples for me to follow out there. So I realized that not only did I have to find a zoo, but I also had to come up with my something special for the proposal. Otherwise these poor zoo employees will have no clue as to whether or not they can accomodate me. Here is where the next component of this story comes in.

2. Be reflective of our story together

One thing that Bev and I love to do for each other is set up puzzles, scavenger hunts, and other fun, mysterious, fantastic things to figure out and do together. There was the time that I made a puzzle box for her to take on a trip out of town.  It had secret compartments, false bottoms, hidden gifts, love notes, and clues for her to find what I had hidden for her in it each day. Another day, Bev set up a scavenger hunt adventure for me that started at an old diner in Bethesda,  spanned much of Montgomery County, included an expedition to find the pieces of the original Capitol building that had been abandoned in a forest, and ended at one of the fanciest movie theaters in the DMV. There was even the trip we took to the Mansion on O St in Washington, D.C. which is filled with dozens of secret doors, rooms, and passageways to discover. And there are many other stories.

“Have you ever noticed that when you give an idea over to God, He tends to expand it into something that takes a lot more faith than you originally planned on needing?”

I needed to create some kind of awesome activity for us that would end in me proposing to her. So I decided that the best way to do that would be to try to set up a scavenger hunt at whatever zoo was willing to work with me.

So, to sum up where I am at this point, I now have to find a zoo that will allow me to set up a believable scavenger hunt on its grounds, using its employees and its attractions, that will NOT give away what I am doing until the very moment of truth. Yeah. Piece of cake, right? Well, tell me why I found multiple ways to make this whole thing even MORE difficult to pull off.

But that, my friends, is where I must  leave you for this week, since this post has already gotten a bit long. Stay tuned for the awesome conclusion of The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes!

The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes

So if you haven’t read Bev’s version of this story yet, you probably shouldn’t read mine. That would be like watching the behind-the-scenes special features on the DVD before watching the actual movie. Which is lame. So don’t do that.

Besides, I’m not going to tell you the story in the order Bev experienced it. I’m going to tell you the story in the order in which it actually took place. And my part is definitely longer (ha! *insert wink emoji*), which means that my part of the story is going to come in like four installments or something.

I don't really have any cool pictures for my post like Bev has for hers...so here is a picture of us being eaten by a shark.

There’s a lot of faith in here too, so…I hope you like faith.

The One Ring *said in a big, loud, booming voice that has some echo on it…for effect*

So maybe that title is a little dramatic…and a little nerdy. Also inaccurate, given that in the end there will actually be two rings. Anyway, if you didn’t catch that reference, you’re just confused anyway.

At first, I had no clue what kind of ring I was going to get her, but that’s okay because she didn’t really know what kind of ring she wanted either. However, both of us, without having discussed it, wanted it to be unique. Also, I didn’t know how I was going to come up with the money to afford a ring that I thought would be good enough for her. What I knew was two things: 

1. Since the Lord was leading me to propose to Bev, He would provide the resources to do it.
2. Since I was setting an example for my future children (and other men) in this process, I did not want to purchase the ring using credit or financing. *chants* Cash Only Out Here In These Streets! C.O.O.H.I.T.S.! (I suggested this to Wu-Tang Clan, but they decided to go with C.R.E.A.M. I still stand by mine.)

“Since the Lord was leading me to propose to Bev, He would provide the resources to do it.”

I made my first bumbling trip into a Zales before I had any money to afford anything at all just to get an idea of what was out there, and I ended up running into an acquaintance of mine who was also one of my father’s former students. I hadn’t seen her in years, and she didn’t even live in this area when I knew her. Cool! It’s a sign, right? I should pick one and buy it from her and OMG THEY HAVE FINANCING OPTIONS I COULD BUY IT TODAY OMG!

 No. Everything’s not a sign, deep Christians. Gosh.

But we did look at the different options, and I learned that a good ring did not have to cost as much as I thought. Please don’t spend 1/3 of your annual salary on a ring. Not unless it is a 2 bedroom, 2 bath ring with a decent front yard.

That’s not to say that I didn’t have to make sacrifices. Among other things, I scaled breakfast down to 1 cupful of cereal, and I scaled my lunch back to one pb&j sandwich per day.  People at work even had jokes about my lunch. But I had a goal. And I had a plan (sort of).

The raging fires of my incendiary imagination. It gets kinda crazy in there.

I still didn’t have any clue as to what kind of ring I was going to buy. Fortunately, Jesus knew I was clueless and sent His buddy Pinterest. All it took was one random pin and a passing comment from Bev to set aflame the raging fires of my incendiary imagination. Fires that would eventually smelt the mental ore of the final engagement ring into being.

You can’t tell me those last couple sentences weren’t fantastic. You’re welcome.

Bev mentioned in passing that she saw a ring that was very interesting because it was designed to look like the threefold cord mentioned in Ecclesiastes 4:12 (look it up—you probably haven’t read your Bible yet today anyway. I’m even taking care of your devotional time for you—again, you’re welcome). Outwardly I said, “Oh cool.” Inwardly, I said, “OMG WHERE IS A PEN I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN IMMEDIATELY.” 

As soon as I got the chance, I started my work of spending hours on websites like Zales, Kay, Google, and Pinterest trying to find this ring that she mentioned. And anyone who knows anything about my shopping habits knows that before I buy anything (literally anything), I have to look at every option there is. Twice. And if the gift is especially important, I may just end up designing and making it my own self because my perfectionist behind is never happy with anything, especially not after I get a picture in my head of what I want it to look like. And throughout this search, none of the stores had what I was looking for. That is until I came across the Todd Alan Studios website (www.handwovenbands.com). His rings looked almost exactly like what I was picturing!

They sell rings that are made of strands of precious metal wound together just like a threefold cord. They are custom made for each order. So I got to choose the metals from which each strand was made. I decided to have two white gold strands to represent me and my future wife and one rose gold “God strand.”

Then came the issue of the diamond(s). Gentlemen, please do your own research on stones before you purchase them. Find information sources that are not trying to sell you something and learn about the reasoning behind diamond pricing. There are so many psychological tricks that the diamond industry plays in order to get you to spend more money than you really need to spend. This will literally save you thousands of dollars that you can put to use on other good things for your bride. One really great site to check out would be www.diamonds.pro.

“There are so many psychological tricks that the diamond industry plays in order to get you to spend more...”

I ended up using www.jamesallen.com to find the stone. They have very powerful search engines, and they allow you to inspect every stone from every angle at 60x magnification so that you know exactly what you are getting. They also give you every measurement and all rating information available about the stone. And then they still do an additional inspection themselves before sending it. This is clearly the perfect retailer for Rob the Needer-of-All-the-Information-About-Everything-Ever-In-Life. In my opinion, it was an even better experience than going to the store to buy one.

To make sure that I wasn’t doing something stupid, I then had to secretly run all of my ideas past Bev’s best friend, whose phone number I did not have. Additionally, I didn’t actually have a picture of the ring to show her, since it was going to be custom made.  Well, guess who realized that Instagram direct works almost as well (me)! And guess who knows how to alter photos to show people what something MIGHT look like (me)! AND guess who loved all my ideas! Me again. But also her!!

Time to move forward! With your day. It's time to move forward with your day. You’ll have to wait for the rest of the story until the next installment.