Everything I Ever Wanted

Please excuse me while I gush on my fiancé for just a moment. In the spirit of Valentine's day and everything. Don't worry, this won't take long. 

Sometime's I just sit back and watch Rob and think about how I ended up with him. Usually it amazes me, because if I alone were doing the picking I don't know if I would have picked him. You guys read the story about my list. All the dumb things that were on my list did not equate to Rob. I am so glad that I did not end up engaged to someone based on my list alone. 

The first thing that stood out to me about Rob was the way he pursued me. It wasn't in any crazy, overt, "Girl, you cute. I want to be with you." type of way (you know you know those guys), but he got to know me with no pressure. I wrote down a couple of years ago that I wanted to be friends first with the next guy I dated. Rob and I became friends easily. He even stayed my friend, and our relationship did not change, after I told him I didn't want to be more than friends that first time he asked me out. Now eventually, the friends to more than friends transition was awkward for me sometimes, but it was leaps and bounds better than the "girl, you cute" guy. 

The next thing that was great about Rob was that he had a plan. We weren't just saying we're together for the fun of saying we're together. This relationship was going somewhere on purpose. Sometime, it took me a minute to catch up but he was more than willing to wait. For example, we had been dating a little over a month when he asked me if we wanted to sign up for the "So You Think You Want To Get Married" class at the church. I was taken aback thinking "I don't even know you're favorite color yet" (which is partially true). So he waited until I was comfortable with moving forward and didn't bring it up again. About a month or so later I told him we could go ahead and sign up for the class.

Another thing about Rob is that he always thinks about me first. He's way better at thinking about me first than I am about doing the same for him. In every decision he makes he either thinks about how it will affect me or he just out right calls me and asks for my opinion. It baffles me sometimes the way that he puts my wants and needs as such a high priority. I know people say that this is how it's supposed to be, but I can't be the only girl out here who just didn't think it would happen this way for her. I knew I would end up with a good guy, no one imagines themselves with a bad guy, but this good of a guy?? People just don't get this lucky.

There are so many other things that I would go on about. He is a great leader at work, in ministry, and for me. He is a phenomenal spiritual leader for us. He is willing to work hard and do whatever it takes to make sure that we are taken care of. Even if we have to sacrifice stuff, he makes sure that we never sacrifice happiness. He takes care of me better than I take care of myself. He is goofy and will do anything to make me smile.

To borrow a line from Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion:

“You are a breathtaking reflection of God’s love for me.”

The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes (the final installment)

Welcome to the fantastic conclusion of the behind the scenes engagement story! I hope you’re proud of me! Because I finished writing it. I didn’t have to, you know. Could have just left you hanging. I thought about it, but I’m kind.

Wow. Not even a smile or a friendly clap, huh? I see how it is. It’s fine. It’s cool. Doesn’t even bother me. Unfazed out here. Just gonna sit there wit ya reading self.  Hmpht.

So…I guess I’ll just sum up where I am at this point. I now have to find a zoo that will allow me to set up a believable scavenger hunt on its grounds, using its employees and its attractions, that will NOT give away what I am doing until the very moment of truth. Yeah. Piece of cake, right? Well, tell me why I found multiple ways to make this whole thing even MORE difficult to pull off. And that’s where number 3 from my last post comes in. My proposal needed to:

3. Demonstrate the amount of effort I plan to put in for her every day forever

So after researching pretty much every zoo between DC and Ohio, I finally came across one (hereinafter referred to as “the zoo”) that was just the right size and seemed to have just the right setup for a scavenger hunt. It was a large, family owned wildlife park in Pennsylvania. It took a little bit of phone tag to get a hold of the right person who could help with my ideas, but I finally did. I tried to design everything in such a way that it would take minimal participation from the zoo itself, while still looking like it was official so that Beverly wouldn’t think something was up. I spoke with the lady (one of the owners) over the phone, and she said that it seemed like a workable idea.

Now here we had a slight problem. I had only seen a PDF map of this place. I didn’t really know the setup. So I needed to find a way to go out there and scope out the spots where my clues were going to be. The owner said she was willing to meet with me and show me around so we could figure everything out. That’s fantastic! Except I had to find a way to go to Pennsylvania without Bev knowing.

The bridge to the ISLAND I got to propose to my girlfriend on.

Fortunately, I had been working really hard on a stage play called Black Boy Blues (by the great Jenkins Brothers -> Shameless plug: there’s a free showing of the play this Saturday at First Baptist Church of Glenarden—you should come.) and I decided to take a day off work after the play. So all I had to do is send a few texts, maybe a nice snapchat from my house, to Bev while she was at work, and that should buy me the time to make my visit. And it did. I got out there and back, and she had no clue.

The visit itself was awesome. The zoo was so amazingly accommodating to all my ideas. They even added ideas of their own to make it look cooler and more legit. Not only did they offer to have their employees at the designated clue areas hold my clues, but they printed the clues on their letterhead and made custom lanyards so that the scavenger hunt would look like it was their event. But that’s not EVEN the best part. Not only did they do all this, but on the grounds of the park there is an ISLAND. Yes. An island. One of their family members created a bridge to this island so that he could get married on it. And they told me that they would reserve the island for me to propose to Bev on.

Did you read that last paragraph at all? Why are you still sitting??? AN ISLAND. A FREAKING ISLAND! I get to propose to my girlfriend on my own reserved island.

You may take your seat now.

Now I also said that I was able to make this more complicated. And boy was I able to. In planning for this event, I realized that someone will need to be there to take a picture or video to record it. Well, Bev’s brother-in-law is a photographer.  So the best thing to do is to ask him to come out right? Haha! Good one!

Yeah. So my easy idea (that was working just fine thank you very much) is now an endeavor to get 9 people from different states to come to a place where none of us lives at the same time on the same day. I began my phone calls, secret texts, and emails to everybody, trying to get everyone’s agreement to come. Additionally, I had to get all these people into the zoo, which is not free. And the zoo was doing so much for me, I wanted to make it profitable for them somehow as well. So guess who also had to secretly get entry passes to these people coming from all across the country whom I could not take secret road trips to go see. Did you guess? Yup. Me.

The view from THE ISLAND I GOT TO PROPOSE TO MY GIRLFRIEND ON (yes I'm just a little excited about that).

To make a long story just slightly shorter, I was able to get almost everyone agree to be there for the proposal, and I mailed everyone their tickets. And with some forgiveness on the part of the zoo for one ticket lost in the mail, we made it happen.

But guess who’s not done making things difficult yet. You guessed, right? Come on, you have to know the answer by now!

So…remind me to shoot my inner inner self. Anyway, as I was searching for materials for Bev’s personalized ring box, I found instead a box shaped like a book. And Bev loves to read. And I had just bought a wood burning kit. So through a series of decisions progressively increasing in difficulty, I endeavored to create a jewelry box with her first initial engraved on the front with some designs and such like an old fashioned book. I also decided to engrave the spine of the book to look like a real book, complete with a line from the first poem I wrote her as its title. Since I had decided to propose with the ring in this box, I had to make the empty inside somehow make the ring stand up like a real ring box. So I bought cardboard and velvet lining and some wood for framing and got to work. I was able, through prayer and painstaking efforts, to actually make it look like something on the inside and outside.

Having completed that and having gotten everyone’s tickets to them, almost everything was taken care of. Except the weather. In checking the weather, I discovered that it was supposed to rain on my big day. Guess who’s not fazed by a little weather forecast at this point in his testimony! Me! For the most part…there was no way to move the event, and too much had come together for me to believe that rain could ruin it. I knew that the Lord would either hold the rain or make it work to enhance the moment.

The love of my life…after punching me in the chest.

Well, He held the rain until after we left the zoo! And everything else you’ve pretty much read from Bev. We went through the zoo, and everything went just as planned, with maybe a little finagling on my part when people were running a few minutes late (I did this by stopping to look at or interact with every single animal I saw).

Was I nervous as she discovered the last clue and we walked onto the island? No.

Am I lying about that? Yes.

She said yes though! A bit quizzically, but she said it. And then she let me put the ring on her finger. And then she punched me in the chest.

Yes. She punched me in the chest. But it’s only cuz she really really likes me. And she punches everyone who she really likes in the chest. It’s a good thing she doesn’t like anyone else as much as she likes me.

Some folks might wonder why I went to all this trouble. Really, I had almost no doubt at all what her answer would be. My desire to marry her was no surprise, and I didn't need to impress her into saying yes. So why did I go to all this trouble and work in all these details? Because this is her once in eternity proposal of marriage, and I wanted to show her exactly how hard I plan to work for her. She may give her love to me freely, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to at least try to be worthy of it.

Anyway, that's the whole story. I hope I didn’t forget any pertinent details. And I hope that you were entertained by my outrageous storytelling. Maybe you were even encouraged to let God take all your cool plans and push them just a little bit out of your reach so He can blow your mind a little bit. Or a lotta bit. As you can see, He’s really good at that.

The End.

Of the Beginning.

The End of the Beginning.

That doesn’t sound as cool as “the end.” But it is more accurate. Oh well, you get the point.

How I Got My Man (For Real This Time)

Hey guys! So, as I heard from many of you, I frustratingly left you mid-story in my last post. To do a quick summary, I told you about how my life was an absolute mess and I was looking for a handsome man to call my own under every rock, stone, or pebble in the DMV (DC, MD, & VA for those who don't live here). It didn't work. It took some time before I realized that it wasn't them that was the problem, but it was me. So I turned to God and blocked out everything else. I told myself that I would not date or even look for a date for a year. For all the juicy details, you can check back to the last post if you haven't read it already.

So, what did I do during that year?

I started out with writing out the qualities that I wanted from the love of my life. This may seem backwards, but don't worry I'm going somewhere. I came up with a list of 11 things. Then I looked to the Bible to compare my list with what Paul writes about the qualities of love (I Cor 13:4-8). Our lists had some things in common, but his list was far superior to mine. You may recognize it. 

1. Patient
2. Kind
3. Doesn't envy
4. Doesn't boast
5. Ins't proud
6. Isn't rude (Doesn't dishonor others, NIV)
7. Isn't self-seeking
8. Isn't easily angered
9. Keeps no record of wrong
10. Doesn't delight in evil
11. Rejoices in truth
12. Bears all things (Always protects, NIV)
13. Believes all things (Always hopes, NIV)
14. Endures all things (Always perseveres, NIV)
15. Never fails

Originally I was thinking of these qualities as the standard for my spouse. However, during my year without dating I took this standard, posted it on the wall, then stood with my back up against it to see how I measured up. It didn't look good. At first. I was like the short kid in class who tries to straighten his spine just a little bit more to get that extra inch.

“I didn’t search for my dream, I searched for God”

So I took these qualities and studied them for myself over the year. I would typically take one quality per week, but there were times it ended up being more than a week.  I had to break myself of the habit of getting a Word, saying, "Oh that was good Pastor", maybe even applying it, then moving on to the next Word the very next day. Sometimes it was good to just sit with one scripture for several days. Over the whole year, I didn't search for my dream, I searched for God and He showed me more than I could ever have dreamed up myself.

But, what about Rob?

Drama ministry went to a local play together.

Rob and I had been in the choir and in the drama ministry together for awhile at that time. I knew who he was, but we never really spoke to each other much outside of a casual hello. In July of 2014 the drama ministry went to a local play together and we ended up sitting next to each other amongst some other friends. The conversations that happened that day contained more words than we had ever spoken to each other before combined. Then in August the choir went to Six Flags Great Adventure. We ended up riding some rides together. He made me get on one of those rides that takes you very high (415 ft to be exact) then drops you with very little warning. To this day we refer to it as the time he "dropped me off a building". I made him get on one of the wooden roller coasters. He had never done it because he didn't trust it. Too bad, he dropped me off a building so he was getting on the ride. After that day, our friendship was solidified and we would often talk when seeing each other in church. In October that year we went to get coffee after a rehearsal with a friend for "National Coffee Day". This day is still a holiday in our relationship. In December me and some friends of mine hosted a holiday party at my house. We called it Friendsgivingmas (you get it). This was the first time someone mentioned to me that they thought that Rob liked me. I wasn't thinking anything about him. I wasn't thinking anything about any man. 

Choir at Six Flags Great Adventure

Just before getting on that wooden roller coaster (the second time)

Friendsgivingmas. I swear we had no intentions of looking like an Old Navy commercial.

Then in February my Year Without Dating ended. Rob was in Michigan visiting his grandmother, but that morning flowers showed up at my house from him saying how proud he was of me for completing My Year and accomplishing what I had set out to do. This is when my mom said that he liked me. I still wasn't thinking anything about him. We were friends, right? Friends can send each other flowers, right? I know now how dumb this sounds, but I swear this was my mentality at the time. I had just gotten through not thinking about guys for a year. It took some time to break that.

Later in February Rob told me that he wanted to date me exclusively. He wanted to "take me off the market" I believe were the words. I told him no. I just wasn't ready to jump head first into a committed relationship yet.

In March we had our birthday parties together. Our birthdays are 7 days apart (I know, how cute). We made a whole day of it then met up with a bunch of our friends that evening at a dinner theatre. This was the second time that friends mentioned to me that he liked me. I couldn't deny it at that point, but I was going to try.

Then, one evening in April after he had picked me up from the airport we ended up talking all night and he asked me out again. I remember being so nervous because I didn't want to make another mistake. I didn't want to be in another bad relationship. I didn't know if I could really trust him. But I also knew that I liked him too and wanted to see where this thing would go. So I said yes to him for the first time that day, but it wouldn't be the last time. 

The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes, Pt 3

Isn't this serene? It has absolutely nothing to do with this post. But it is quite serene. You know, if you say serene enough times, it doesn't sound like a word anymore. Try it!

Hey all! This is part three of my behind the scenes engagement story. If you’re just joining, check out our previous posts to get the whole story!

Otherwise, let's keep going. At this point, I had purchased the ring and gotten the stone set into it. The next step was to plan the actual proposal. Figuring out how I was going to propose to Beverly was no easy task. The thing about proposals is you only get to do them once ever in your entire existence as a human (if you’re handling things properly anyway). So, in my mind, I had to figure out something that would be affordable, manageable, but also specially tailored to reflect Beverly and create a memory that she would cherish. What I ended up actually doing, however, will not sound like it was affordable, manageable, or even possible. But that is the kind of thing you can do when you give your story over to God. More on that later.

The thing that I wanted to keep in mind is that, not only do I myself only get to propose one time ever (if things go well), but Beverly is only going to receive a proposal one time ever (if things go well). So I’m not knocking anyone else’s proposal story, but I didn’t want to propose to her in her living room or randomly at a mall somewhere.

“What I ended up actually doing will not sound like it was affordable, manageable, or even possible. But that is the kind of thing you can do when you give your story over to God.”

Of course I was praying for some good ideas, and of course I also had some “good ideas” of my own.

The aforementioned old brain. You can't see it, but ideas are tumbling around in there.

The first idea that I had tumbling around in the old brain was to find a local, small live music event at which some as-yet-undecided-upon musician friend of mine would be playing. I would work out an agreement with them where they would let me come up and perform one of the songs I had written for Bev, and then I would end the song on my knee proposing (I know, insert “awwww” here).

I knew I might not be able to do that, so my second “great idea” was epic. Three words. Hot. Air. Balloon. Boom! Who wouldn’t say yes to a marriage proposal whilst being suspended by a thin cloth thousands of feet in the air? Foolproof, right?

But then I considered this: if I am going to ask her to change the rest of her life for me, then my proposal should symbolize what I hope the rest of her life will look like.  That means that I wanted the proposal to do three things:

1. Show her how much I have studied and learned her

2. Be reflective of our story together

3. Demonstrate the amount of effort I plan to put in for her every day forever

1. Show her how much I have studied and learned her

That’s when I remembered she once said to me that in a perfect world, she would visit the zoo in every city she went to. My response to her when she said that was, “So let’s make it a perfect world.”  Therefore, I decided that I should take her to her perfect world and ask her if she would make it a perfect world with me for the rest of her life.

“If I am going to ask her to change the rest of her life for me, then my proposal should symbolize what I hope the rest of her life will look like.”

I don’t know if you have been able to figure me out yet, but I don’t think it will come as a surprise to you that I couldn’t just take her to any old zoo on any old day and propose to her in any old spot. I had to find either a zoo that was having a special, more intimate event where I could propose to her or one that would be willing to help me set up a special event. So I started calling local zoos and looking up events on their websites.

I quickly discovered that the biggest nearby zoos were unable to help me do anything special, and the events they were having that might have worked were all booked up for a few months. However, Bev will tell you  that I am really good at finding places. She almost always asks me how in the world I found wherever it is that I am taking her. So I didn’t let this local trouble stop me. I simply expanded my search area. I think I looked at almost every real zoo between here and Ohio. No joke.

To further complicate things, I (or more likely the Holy Spirit in me--remember I asked for His help) often find a way to take my little ideas and turn them into something bigger and just outside my comfort level (or way outside my comfort level). Have you ever noticed that when you give an idea over to God, He tends to expand it into something that takes a lot more faith than you originally planned on needing?

Let me explain what I mean. As I was calling these different zoos to see what I could set up, I started to realize that I have no clue what things I could do at the zoo to make a proposal special, and neither did the people that work for the zoos because it’s not a common event to propose at a zoo. It’s not like there were a bunch of examples for me to follow out there. So I realized that not only did I have to find a zoo, but I also had to come up with my something special for the proposal. Otherwise these poor zoo employees will have no clue as to whether or not they can accomodate me. Here is where the next component of this story comes in.

2. Be reflective of our story together

One thing that Bev and I love to do for each other is set up puzzles, scavenger hunts, and other fun, mysterious, fantastic things to figure out and do together. There was the time that I made a puzzle box for her to take on a trip out of town.  It had secret compartments, false bottoms, hidden gifts, love notes, and clues for her to find what I had hidden for her in it each day. Another day, Bev set up a scavenger hunt adventure for me that started at an old diner in Bethesda,  spanned much of Montgomery County, included an expedition to find the pieces of the original Capitol building that had been abandoned in a forest, and ended at one of the fanciest movie theaters in the DMV. There was even the trip we took to the Mansion on O St in Washington, D.C. which is filled with dozens of secret doors, rooms, and passageways to discover. And there are many other stories.

“Have you ever noticed that when you give an idea over to God, He tends to expand it into something that takes a lot more faith than you originally planned on needing?”

I needed to create some kind of awesome activity for us that would end in me proposing to her. So I decided that the best way to do that would be to try to set up a scavenger hunt at whatever zoo was willing to work with me.

So, to sum up where I am at this point, I now have to find a zoo that will allow me to set up a believable scavenger hunt on its grounds, using its employees and its attractions, that will NOT give away what I am doing until the very moment of truth. Yeah. Piece of cake, right? Well, tell me why I found multiple ways to make this whole thing even MORE difficult to pull off.

But that, my friends, is where I must  leave you for this week, since this post has already gotten a bit long. Stay tuned for the awesome conclusion of The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes!

How I Got My Man

Let's rewind to about this time in 2013. I was having some of the best experiences of my life. Experiences I still look back on with a smile. I was going to be working with a major recording artist in the official events of the Inauguration weekend. I attended THE Inaugural Ball (which is a crazy funny story between my best friend and I). I joined the Young Adult Choir at FBCG. That first rehearsal I accidentally sat on the alto side of the choir stand. I've been trying to work my way back over there ever since. All that, and yet the relationship between my boyfriend and I was an absolute mess.

There are too many stories than you have time to read of the stupid things that I did and the crazy things that he said. It's not even important to the real point. I was broken and I had no business in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship anyway. I know that now. That's not at all what it looked like to me at the time. In my mind, I needed a man. He was there. So, I needed him.

“I needed a man. He was there. So, I needed him.”

Then he was gone.

That's when my search began. I mean I was man hungry (and that is no exaggeration). I found myself planning my wedding with almost every nice and attractive man I saw. I had picked out the paint colors of our nursery for every man who offered me his seat on the metro (don't worry, it wasn't many. Do better gentlemen.). It was too much. I was too much and I needed to stop.

That is when I decided to do a year without dating. I noticed something in myself that needed serious fixing and I decided to do something about it. I had heard several sermons suggesting the idea of going some time with the determination that you would not date or even look for dates and I decided to give it a try. Let's be clear though, it wasn't as though there were constantly men knocking down my door. There weren't. It was me, not them, that needed to be reigned in. It was me who needed to refocus.

I started on Valentine's Day 2014. There was no special purpose behind using that date. It just happened to be that time of year when I decided to take up this endeavor. I will admit though, I did like the irony of deciding to no longer date on the biggest day of the year for dating.

At first it started as mostly turning down the offers for dates that I was not receiving anyway. Check. Done. Easy. Than came the much harder part. I needed to figure out why it was that I felt like I needed a man. Where was this out of control hunger coming from? So I looked back to where I know I'm always supposed to look when I need direction. I looked to the Bible. Please notice that this is where I know I'm supposed to look when I need direction, not where I actually always look. I do not want it to seem like Bev has it all together. Believe me, I know her, she doesn't.

“The need I was trying to fill with a man wasn’t meant for any man on earth to satisfy.”

When I looked to the scriptures I realized that the need I was trying to fill with a man wasn't meant for any man on earth to satisfy. I had forgotten how to lean onto the love of Jesus. I'd learned how to tune out the voice of God. I wasn't measuring up to His standard so I threw it away for what I though was a better one. I heard a preacher say recently that you should keep people around you who won't celebrate your mediocrity. I had those people. I should have listened.

Possibly the biggest realization of the whole endeavor was that I wasn't up to the standard that I had set for my future husband. The man of my dreams, that nice and attractive man who gave me his seat on the metro, wouldn't want a person like who I was. 

So, I practiced. I'm not sure about you, but I've never had someone lay their hands on me and then I heard God's voice clearly everyday following. I had to work to turn down my voice and turn up His. I had to practice "leaning not on my own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5). I messed up a few times on my way to believing I was "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14).

Oh my goodness. This is getting long already and I'm nowhere near where Rob comes in the picture. I know we don't have a comment section, but hit the like button to let me know you want to hear the rest of the story. I can do a special post or kick Rob off his next one or something. Lol.

The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes (pt 2)

The Ring! (Just in case you couldn't tell)

The Purchasing of the Ring

(I suggested this as a possible prequel to The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, but the idea was turned down)

I’m baaaaacckkk! (This is Rob, in case that was unclear…which it might have been…). If you read my first post, all the decisions I was making regarding the design and purchase of Bev’s engagement ring probably all seem like sound decisions. I found out what kind of ring Bev liked, what made a diamond valuable and how to purchase one wisely, altered some of my spending habits, and ran everything past Bev’s best friend.  But let’s please keep in mind that even with all that, I still don’t have money for this.  And I have to keep this entire process a secret. All this new stuff I’m learning, and I can’t say a word of it to the person to whom I tell everything every single day. And the real challenge is that I can’t even really scale back our Adventure Saturdays, dates, and other spending that involves her, because the moment I do that, she’ll know something’s up.

So, can somebody say, “Praise God,” for work bonuses and that extra special third paycheck that comes twice a year?

Did you say it? I put it in quotes and everything.

I’ll wait.

…

Anyway, with that I was able to at least buy the diamond. And I was soooo close to being able to buy the ring too. Just a few hundred dollars away really. Slap a few Benjis on me and I’m there. (No? No to that phrase? Fine.) The only additional problem is that I also have a week long road trip coming up, and I have to pay for that (don’t question the road trip-it was a trip to visit both of our families and introduce Bev to my grandmother). This means that a couple hundred dollars away turns into all the dollars away. And there is no third paycheck in sight.

“Slap a few Benjis on me and I’m there.”

Here is where some more of my faith had to come in. I can’t see how I’m going to get this money anytime soon, but I also know that now is the time to do this.  One thing that most people know about me is that I am very committed to ministry at my church. Most of my days look like this:

1. Wake up (and shower and brush teeth and stuff)

2. Go to work

3. Go to church

4. Go home

5. Go to sleep

6. Rinse and repeat

It’s a very rigorous schedule that leaves me only one or two nights off in a week most of the time, if I even get that. One thing that most people know about ministry is that there is usually not a paycheck. So I have all this time that I am putting into an effort that is not currently bringing me money. Now, sometimes I am a logical person (only sometimes). A logical person would look at my situation and realize I could get a part time job and come up with the money in a month or less. The only problem with that solution is that it would involve dropping ministries that God called me to be committed to.

Here's a picture of the ring with no diamond to sort of illustrate my point...in a backwards kind of way.

I had to purposefully choose to stay committed to ministry even when that meant not making enough money to buy this ring any time soon. But God is really good at providing for what He wants us to do if we’re willing to stay obedient to His plan. He wouldn’t bring me far enough to buy a diamond just to leave me with no ring. So I stay faithful, committed, and eating my pb&j. Sometimes you can switch it up by putting some of your morning cereal in the sandwich too. Gives it a little crunch. It’s pretty good.

So anyway, in the midst of pb&j, jokes about my lunch at work and omg where is this money supposed to come from—you know that mysterious “unexpected check” that people are always talking about on TV and in church? Well, I got one. And it was exactly the amount I needed to buy the ring and set the stone.

“God is really good at providing for what He wants us to do if we’re willing to stay obedient to His plan.”

Are you shouting yet? Maybe you missed that. Let me run it back for you. IT WAS EXACTLY THE AMOUNT I NEEDED TO BUY THE RING AND SET THE STONE.

Boom. When I saw the check, I was stuck. Just stuck. I just sat there in my room not knowing what to do or say.

Come on in here Jesus! Won’t He come through for you! “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, AND ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE ADDED TO YOU!! “ That’s Matthew 6:33 (see I looked it up for you and everything).

All jokes aside, I hope this story encourages you. Even if it’s not marriage that you’re working on right now, if God called you to do it, you don’t have to resort to alternative or disobedient methods. And you don’t have to worry about how He’s going to do it. Or when. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other in God’s direction. And maybe eat a little pb&j.

Next up? The proposal! But you’ll have to wait a couple weeks for that. But that’s ok! Bev’s got an awesome post coming next week! Ok bye!

Adventure Saturday

How do you find the time to date when, between the two of you, you minister most Sundays and you have at least 18 rehearsals a month? Oh, and you both have full time jobs. Enter: Adventure Saturday!

Adventure Saturday happened entirely on accident. Rob and I were sitting down to work out our schedules and organize our lives one day at Panera when we realized that there was one Saturday out of the month that we did not have any ministry (or other) obligations. I jokingly said, "That day can be Adventure Saturday!" It's been that way ever since.

Adventure Saturday is one of the pillars of our relationship now. We take one Saturday (sometimes Sunday, you know if you read my last post) of every month to do something together. Just us. No exceptions. Well, sometimes we have to go to work, but no other exceptions. We've become pretty protective over Adventure Saturday. Some of our best memories together have been on these days.

We started dating in April 2015 and our first official Adventure Saturday was June 2015 when we went to my sister's birthday party in Columbus, OH. That's when Rob met some of my family members, including my dad and some of my brothers. They gave him a little trouble at first but they knew he was a good man. Everyone came out friends.

In July that year we went on a bus trip to New York City for a day. We went to the Central Park Zoo and then to see Wicked on Broadway. That day was amazing.  According to my phone, we walked 20,243 steps. No one warned us about the subway just not working that weekend so we ended up walking everywhere we went. We even had the typical "bus trip" moment of almost missing our bus home and running through the station onto the bus in just enough time to get a seat together before the bus took off.

Adventure Saturday Highlights:

• August 2015 - MegaFest and the Dallas Zoo in Dallas, TX
• November 2015 - My first trip to the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC 
• January 2016 - Art museum and ice skating on the National Mall in Washington, DC
• February 2016 - An aquarium, a stage play, and an Irish restaurant in and around Camden, NJ
• March 2016 - Glow in the dark mini golf in Jessup, MD
• April 2016 - Virginia Safari Park in Charlottesville, VA and horseback riding in Knoxville, MD
• June 2016 - Adventure Road Trip to Columbus, OH and Cincinnati, OH and Dayton, OH and Saline, MI
• September 2016 - We got engaged!!!!!
• November 2016 - Engagement photo shoot Northeast, MD

Adventure Saturdays get expensive sometimes, but it's totally worth it. The Adventure Road Trip was close to the best one we've done. We drove around the Midwest and got to meet and really spend time with each other's families. After the engagement my sister commented, "Soon you guys will get to save money by staying in the same hotel room." I. Can't. Wait.

If we don't make each other a priority, it's easy to miss the other person in the hustle and bustle of our schedules. "We'll do that next week." turns into "Did we ever do that?" three months later. We prefer to say, "Did we really do that?" At times it becomes challenging due to family, work, or ministry but we make sure that we find a way. We have to. When it comes down to it, we're working to build a relationship. And believe me, it is work. But sometimes the work turns out to be an Adventure.

The Engagement Story: Behind the Scenes

So if you haven’t read Bev’s version of this story yet, you probably shouldn’t read mine. That would be like watching the behind-the-scenes special features on the DVD before watching the actual movie. Which is lame. So don’t do that.

Besides, I’m not going to tell you the story in the order Bev experienced it. I’m going to tell you the story in the order in which it actually took place. And my part is definitely longer (ha! *insert wink emoji*), which means that my part of the story is going to come in like four installments or something.

I don't really have any cool pictures for my post like Bev has for hers...so here is a picture of us being eaten by a shark.

There’s a lot of faith in here too, so…I hope you like faith.

The One Ring *said in a big, loud, booming voice that has some echo on it…for effect*

So maybe that title is a little dramatic…and a little nerdy. Also inaccurate, given that in the end there will actually be two rings. Anyway, if you didn’t catch that reference, you’re just confused anyway.

At first, I had no clue what kind of ring I was going to get her, but that’s okay because she didn’t really know what kind of ring she wanted either. However, both of us, without having discussed it, wanted it to be unique. Also, I didn’t know how I was going to come up with the money to afford a ring that I thought would be good enough for her. What I knew was two things: 

1. Since the Lord was leading me to propose to Bev, He would provide the resources to do it.
2. Since I was setting an example for my future children (and other men) in this process, I did not want to purchase the ring using credit or financing. *chants* Cash Only Out Here In These Streets! C.O.O.H.I.T.S.! (I suggested this to Wu-Tang Clan, but they decided to go with C.R.E.A.M. I still stand by mine.)

“Since the Lord was leading me to propose to Bev, He would provide the resources to do it.”

I made my first bumbling trip into a Zales before I had any money to afford anything at all just to get an idea of what was out there, and I ended up running into an acquaintance of mine who was also one of my father’s former students. I hadn’t seen her in years, and she didn’t even live in this area when I knew her. Cool! It’s a sign, right? I should pick one and buy it from her and OMG THEY HAVE FINANCING OPTIONS I COULD BUY IT TODAY OMG!

 No. Everything’s not a sign, deep Christians. Gosh.

But we did look at the different options, and I learned that a good ring did not have to cost as much as I thought. Please don’t spend 1/3 of your annual salary on a ring. Not unless it is a 2 bedroom, 2 bath ring with a decent front yard.

That’s not to say that I didn’t have to make sacrifices. Among other things, I scaled breakfast down to 1 cupful of cereal, and I scaled my lunch back to one pb&j sandwich per day.  People at work even had jokes about my lunch. But I had a goal. And I had a plan (sort of).

The raging fires of my incendiary imagination. It gets kinda crazy in there.

I still didn’t have any clue as to what kind of ring I was going to buy. Fortunately, Jesus knew I was clueless and sent His buddy Pinterest. All it took was one random pin and a passing comment from Bev to set aflame the raging fires of my incendiary imagination. Fires that would eventually smelt the mental ore of the final engagement ring into being.

You can’t tell me those last couple sentences weren’t fantastic. You’re welcome.

Bev mentioned in passing that she saw a ring that was very interesting because it was designed to look like the threefold cord mentioned in Ecclesiastes 4:12 (look it up—you probably haven’t read your Bible yet today anyway. I’m even taking care of your devotional time for you—again, you’re welcome). Outwardly I said, “Oh cool.” Inwardly, I said, “OMG WHERE IS A PEN I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN IMMEDIATELY.” 

As soon as I got the chance, I started my work of spending hours on websites like Zales, Kay, Google, and Pinterest trying to find this ring that she mentioned. And anyone who knows anything about my shopping habits knows that before I buy anything (literally anything), I have to look at every option there is. Twice. And if the gift is especially important, I may just end up designing and making it my own self because my perfectionist behind is never happy with anything, especially not after I get a picture in my head of what I want it to look like. And throughout this search, none of the stores had what I was looking for. That is until I came across the Todd Alan Studios website (www.handwovenbands.com). His rings looked almost exactly like what I was picturing!

They sell rings that are made of strands of precious metal wound together just like a threefold cord. They are custom made for each order. So I got to choose the metals from which each strand was made. I decided to have two white gold strands to represent me and my future wife and one rose gold “God strand.”

Then came the issue of the diamond(s). Gentlemen, please do your own research on stones before you purchase them. Find information sources that are not trying to sell you something and learn about the reasoning behind diamond pricing. There are so many psychological tricks that the diamond industry plays in order to get you to spend more money than you really need to spend. This will literally save you thousands of dollars that you can put to use on other good things for your bride. One really great site to check out would be www.diamonds.pro.

“There are so many psychological tricks that the diamond industry plays in order to get you to spend more...”

I ended up using www.jamesallen.com to find the stone. They have very powerful search engines, and they allow you to inspect every stone from every angle at 60x magnification so that you know exactly what you are getting. They also give you every measurement and all rating information available about the stone. And then they still do an additional inspection themselves before sending it. This is clearly the perfect retailer for Rob the Needer-of-All-the-Information-About-Everything-Ever-In-Life. In my opinion, it was an even better experience than going to the store to buy one.

To make sure that I wasn’t doing something stupid, I then had to secretly run all of my ideas past Bev’s best friend, whose phone number I did not have. Additionally, I didn’t actually have a picture of the ring to show her, since it was going to be custom made.  Well, guess who realized that Instagram direct works almost as well (me)! And guess who knows how to alter photos to show people what something MIGHT look like (me)! AND guess who loved all my ideas! Me again. But also her!!

Time to move forward! With your day. It's time to move forward with your day. You’ll have to wait for the rest of the story until the next installment.